cursing the course

session fourteen was a lot worse than the one before. it was one of those “just get out there and do it” days. i wasn’t looking forward to the workout.

i had a hard time regulating my breathing during the 500 meter intervals. even though i ran a slow and steady pace, i kept losing my breath. my body would feel like it was finished, but my watch would say we were only two-thirds through. the breaks in between provided barely enough time for my respiration to return to normal. it seemed like as soon as i stopped jogging, the runkeeper app was beeping for me to start up again.

when i began the last kilometer, i told myself “just 7 or so minutes, then it will all be over… you can do it for 7 more minutes.”
my breathing became labored again. i tried in through the nose, out through the mouth. i tried in for a few steps, out for a few steps. i tried taking take deep breaths, but my lungs weren’t having any of it.

i went to check my watch, wondering “how much further do i have to go?” when i discovered that i forgot to set it. my first thought was “f*ck me!” but then my heart just sank and i gave up. i felt like i couldn’t reach my destination if i didn’t know how long it was going to take me to get there.

i started walking. i started feeling guilty about walking. runkeeper said i still had 0.2 miles to go. “okay” i told myself, “i have to finish this. i’ll run to the end of the path, that has to be at least 0.2 miles.” so i did. i ran to the end of the path. i checked runkeeper again, but something was wrong because the gps wasn’t registering my run. it still said i had 0.2 miles to go!

at that moment, i was mad. “f*ck this!” i thought (i curse a lot in my head). i wanted to quit, but felt guilty again. i refused to run anymore, but i forced myself to complete the kilometer. i walked until that damn gps registered 0.2 miles. then i got the hell out of there and went home.

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